Windows Hot Keys

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Windows Hotkeys

Ctrl + Escape or Win: Display start menu.
Shift + F10 or AppsKey: Display context menu.
Win + E: Open Windows Explorer.
Win + R: Open Run dialog.
Win + M: Minimize all windows.
Win + Shift + M: Undo minimize all windows.
Win + D: Toggle minimize all windows.
Win + B (XP only): Activate system tray. Arrow keys select, Enter double-clicks, and AppsKey or Shift + F10 right-clicks.
Win + L (XP Only): Locks keyboard. Similar to Lock Workstation.
Win + F or F3: Open Find dialog. (All Files) F3 may not work in some applications which use F3 for their own find dialogs.
Win + Control + F: Open Find dialog. (Computers)
Win + U: Open Utility Manager.
Win + F1: Open Windows help.
Win + Pause: Open System Properties dialog.
Win + Tab: Cycle through taskbar buttons. Enter clicks, AppsKey or Shift + F10 right-clicks.
Win + Shift + Tab: Cycle through taskbar buttons in reverse.
Alt + Tab: Display CoolSwitch. More commonly known as the AltTab dialog.
Alt + Shift + Tab: Display CoolSwitch; go in reverse.
Alt + Escape: Send active window to the bottom of the z-order.
Alt + Shift + Escape: Activate the window at the bottom of the z-order.
Alt + F4: Close active window; or, if all windows are closed, open shutdown dialog.
Shift while a CD is loading: Bypass AutoPlay.
Ctrl + Alt + Delete or Ctrl + Alt + NumpadDel (Both NumLock states): Invoke the Task Manager or NT Security dialog.
Ctrl + Shift + Escape (XP Only): Invoke the task manager. On earlier OSes, acts like Ctrl + Escape.
Printscreen: Copy screenshot of current screen to clipboard.
Alt + Printscreen: Copy screenshot of current active window to clipboard.
Ctrl + Alt + Down Arrow: Invert screen. Untested on OSes other than XP.
Ctrl + Alt + Up Arrow: Undo inversion.

Generic

Ctrl + C or Ctrl + Insert: Copy.
Ctrl + X or Shift + Delete: Cut.
Ctrl + V or Shift + Insert: Paste/Move.
Ctrl + N: New… File, Tab, Entry, etc.
Ctrl + S: Save.
Ctrl + O: Open…
Ctrl + P: Print.
Ctrl + Z: Undo.
Ctrl + A: Select all.
Ctrl + F: Find…
Ctrl + F4: Close tab or child window.
F1: Open help.
F11: Toggle full screen mode.
Alt or F10: Activate menu bar.
Alt + Space: Display system menu. Same as clicking the icon on the titlebar.
Escape: Remove focus from current control/menu, or close dialog box.

Generic Navigation

Tab: Forward one item.
Shift + Tab: Backward one item.
Ctrl + Tab: Cycle through tabs/child windows.
Ctrl + Shift + Tab: Cycle backwards through tabs/child windows.
Enter: If a button’s selected, click it, otherwise, click default button.
Space: Toggle items such as radio buttons or checkboxes.
Alt + (Letter): Activate item corresponding to (Letter). (Letter) is the underlined letter on the item’s name.
Ctrl + Left: Move cursor to the beginning of previous word.
Ctrl + Right: Move cursor to the beginning of next word.
Ctrl + Up: Move cursor to beginning of previous paragraph. This and all subsequent Up/Down hotkeys in this section have only been known to work in RichEdit controls.
Ctrl + Down: Move cursor to beginning of next paragraph.
Shift + Left: Highlight one character to the left.
Shift + Right: Highlight one character to the right.
Shift + Up: Highlight from current cursor position, to one line up.
Shift + Down: Highlight from current cursor position, to one line down.
Ctrl + Shift + Left: Highlight to beginning of previous word.
Ctrl + Shift + Right: Highlight to beginning of next word.
Ctrl + Shift + Up: Highlight to beginning of previous paragraph.
Ctrl + Shift + Down: Highlight to beginning of next paragraph.
Home: Move cursor to top of a scrollable control.
End: Move cursor to bottom of a scrollable control.

Generic File Browser

Arrow Keys: Navigate.
Shift + Arrow Keys: Select multiple items.
Ctrl + Arrow Keys: Change focus without changing selection. “Focus” is the object that will run on Enter. Space toggles selection of the focused item.
(Letter): Select first found item that begins with (Letter).
BackSpace: Go up one level to the parent directory.
Alt + Left: Go back one folder.
Alt + Right: Go forward one folder.
Enter: Activate (Double-click) selected item(s).
Alt + Enter: View properties for selected item.
F2: Rename selected item(s).
F7: New folder.
Ctrl + NumpadPlus: In a Details view, resizes all columns to fit the longest item in each one.
Delete: Delete selected item(s).
Shift + Delete: Delete selected item(s); bypass Recycle Bin.
Ctrl while dragging item(s): Copy.
Ctrl + Shift while dragging item(s): Create shortcut(s).

In tree pane, if any:
Left: Collapse the current selection if expanded, or select the parent folder.
Right: Expand the current selection if collapsed, or select the first subfolder.
NumpadAsterisk: Expand currently selected directory and all subdirectories. No undo.
NumpadPlus: Expand currently selected directory.
NumpadMinus: Collapse currently selected directory.

Accessibility

Right Shift for eight seconds: Toggle FilterKeys on and off. FilterKeys must be enabled.
Left Alt + Left Shift + PrintScreen: Toggle High Contrast on and off. High Contrast must be enabled.
Left Alt + Left Shift + NumLock: Toggle MouseKeys on and off. MouseKeys must be enabled.
NumLock for five seconds: Toggle ToggleKeys on and off. ToggleKeys must be enabled.
Shift five times: Toggle StickyKeys on and off. StickyKeys must be enabled.

Microsoft Natural Keyboard with IntelliType Software Installed

Win + L: Log off Windows.
Win + P: Open Print Manager.
Win + C: Open control panel.
Win + V: Open clipboard.
Win + K: Open keyboard properties.
Win + I: Open mouse properties.
Win + A: Open Accessibility properties.
Win + Space: Displays the list of Microsoft IntelliType shortcut keys.
Win + S: Toggle CapsLock on and off.

Remote Desktop Connection Navigation

Ctrl + Alt + End: Open the NT Security dialog.
Alt + PageUp: Switch between programs.
Alt + PageDown: Switch between programs in reverse.
Alt + Insert: Cycle through the programs in most recently used order.
Alt + Home: Display start menu.
Ctrl + Alt + Break: Switch the client computer between a window and a full screen.
Alt + Delete: Display the Windows menu.
Ctrl + Alt + NumpadMinus: Place a snapshot of the entire client window area on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing Alt + PrintScreen on a local computer.
Ctrl + Alt + NumpadPlus: Place a snapshot of the active window in the client on the Terminal server clipboard and provide the same functionality as pressing PrintScreen on a local computer.

Mozilla Firefox Hot Keys

Ctrl + Tab or Ctrl + PageDown: Cycle through tabs.
Ctrl + Shift + Tab or Ctrl + PageUp: Cycle through tabs in reverse.
Ctrl + (1-9): Switch to tab corresponding to number.
Ctrl + N: New window.
Ctrl + T: New tab.
Ctrl + L or Alt + D or F6: Switch focus to location bar.
Ctrl + Enter: Open location in new tab.
Shift + Enter: Open location in new window.
Ctrl + K or Ctrl + E: Switch focus to search bar.
Ctrl + O: Open a local file.
Ctrl + W: Close tab, or window if there’s only one tab open.
Ctrl + Shift + W: Close window.
Ctrl + S: Save page as a local file.
Ctrl + P: Print page.
Ctrl + F or F3: Open find toolbar.
Ctrl + G or F3: Find next…
Ctrl + Shift + G or Shift + F3: Find previous…
Ctrl + B or Ctrl + I: Open Bookmarks sidebar.
Ctrl + H: Open History sidebar.
Escape: Stop loading page.
Ctrl + R or F5: Reload current page.
Ctrl + Shift + R or Ctrl + F5: Reload current page; bypass cache.
Ctrl + U: View page source.
Ctrl + D: Bookmark current page.
Ctrl + NumpadPlus or Ctrl + Equals (+/=): Increase text size.
Ctrl + NumpadMinus or Ctrl + Minus: Decrease text size.
Ctrl + Numpad0 or Ctrl + 0: Set text size to default.
Alt + Left or Backspace: Back.
Alt + Right or Shift + Backspace: Forward.
Alt + Home: Open home page.
Ctrl + M: Open new message in integrated mail client.
Ctrl + J: Open Downloads dialog.
F6: Switch to next frame. You must have selected something on the page already, e.g. by use of Tab.
Shift + F6: Switch to previous frame.
Apostrophe (‘): Find link as you type.
Slash (/): Find text as you type.

GMail Hotkeys

Must have “keyboard shortcuts” on in settings.
C: Compose new message.
Shift + C: Open new window to compose new message.
Slash (/): Switch focus to search box.
K: Switch focus to the next most recent email. Enter or “O” opens focused email.
J: Switch focus to the next oldest email.
N: Switch focus to the next message in the “conversation.” Enter or “O” expands/collapses messages.
P: Switch focus to the previous message.
U: Takes you back to the inbox and checks for new mail.
Y: Various actions depending on current view:
Has no effect in “Sent” and “All Mail” views.
[*:3gdr5caz]Inbox: Archive email or message.
[*:3gdr5caz]Starred: Unstar email or message.
[*:3gdr5caz]Spam: Unmark as spam and move back to “Inbox.”
[*:3gdr5caz]Trash: Move back to “Inbox.”
[*:3gdr5caz]Any label: Remove the label.X: “Check” an email. Various actions can be performed against all checked emails.
S: “Star” an email. Identical to the more familiar term, “flagging.”
R: Reply to the email.
A: Reply to all recipients of the email.
F: Forward an email.
Shift + R: Reply to the email in a new window.
Shift + A: Reply to all recipients of the email in a new window.
Shift + F: Forward an email in a new window.
Shift + 1 (!): Mark an email as spam and remove it from the inbox.
G then I: Switch to “Inbox” view.
G then S: Switch to “Starred” view.
G then A: Switch to “All Mail” view.
G then C: Switch to “Contacts” view.
G then S: Switch to “Drafts” view.

Microsoft Word Shortcut Key – No Ads!

Ctrl + 0 Adds or removes 6pts of spacing before a paragraph.
Ctrl + A Select all contents of the page.
Ctrl + B Bold highlighted selection.
Ctrl + C Copy selected text.
Ctrl + D Open the font preferences window.
Ctrl + E Aligns the line or selected text to the center of the screen.
Ctrl + G go to page box.
Ctrl + H Open find, replace, go to box.
Ctrl + F Open find box.
Ctrl + I Italic highlighted selection.
Ctrl + J Aligns the selected text or line to justify the screen.
Ctrl + K Insert link.
Ctrl + L Aligns the line or selected text to the left of the screen.
Ctrl + M Indent the paragraph.
Ctrl + P Open the print window.
Ctrl + R Aligns the line or selected text to the right of the screen.
Ctrl + T Create a hanging indent.
Ctrl + U Underline highlighted selection.
Ctrl + V Paste.
Ctrl + X Cut selected text.
Ctrl + Y Redo the last action performed.
Ctrl + Z Undo last action.
Ctrl + Shift + L Quickly create a bullet point.
Ctrl + Shift + F Change the font.
Ctrl + Shift + > Increase selected font +1pts up to 12pt and then increases font +2pts.
Ctrl + ] Increase selected font +1pts.
Ctrl + Shift + < Decrease selected font -1pts if 12pt or lower, if above 12 decreases font by +2pt.
Ctrl + [ Decrease selected font -1pts.
Ctrl + / + c Insert a cent sign (¢).
Ctrl + ' + Insert a character with an accent (grave) mark, where is the character you want. For example, if you wanted an accented è you would use Ctrl + ‘ + e as your shortcut key. To reverse the accent mark use the opposite accent mark, often on the tilde key.
Ctrl + Shift + * View or hide non printing characters.
Ctrl + Moves one word to the left.
Ctrl + Moves one word to the right.
Ctrl + Moves to the beginning of the line or paragraph.
Ctrl + Moves to the end of the paragraph.
Ctrl + Del Deletes word to right of cursor.
Ctrl + Backspace Deletes word to left of cursor.
Ctrl + End Moves the cursor to the end of the document.
Ctrl + Home Moves the cursor to the beginning of the document.
Ctrl + Spacebar Reset highlighted text to the default font.
Ctrl + 1 Single-space lines.
Ctrl + 2 Double-space lines.
Ctrl + 5 1.5-line spacing.
Ctrl + Alt + 1 Changes text to heading 1.
Ctrl + Alt + 2 Changes text to heading 2.
Ctrl + Alt + 3 Changes text to heading 3.
Alt + Ctrl + F2 Open new document.
Ctrl + F1 Open the Task Pane.
Ctrl + F2 Display the print preview.
Ctrl + Shift + > Increases the highlighted text size by one.
Ctrl + Shift + < Decreases the highlighted text size by one.
Ctrl + Shift + F6 Opens to another open Microsoft Word document.
Ctrl + Shift + F12 Prints the document.
F1 Open Help.
F4 Repeat the last action performed (Word 2000+)
F5 Open the find, replace, and go to window in Microsoft Word.
F7 Spellcheck and grammar check selected text or document.
F12 Save as.
Shift + F3 Change the text in Microsoft Word from uppercase to lowercase or a capital letter at the beginning of every word.
Shift + F7 Runs a Thesaurus check on the word highlighted.
Shift + F12 Save.
Shift + Enter Create a soft break instead of a new paragraph.
Shift + Insert Paste.
Shift + Alt + D Insert the current date.
Shift + Alt + T Insert the current time.

Top Windows 8 Hot Keys – No Ads – just the knowledge please!

In these key combinations, hold down the Windows key (normally located between Alt and Ctrl) and another key, as described on this list.
•Press the Windows key to enter the tiled Start screen.
•The Windows key + M minimizes everything that’s showing on the desktop.
•The Windows key + E opens Explorer for quick access to folders.
•On the Start screen, press the Windows key + D to instantly get to the desktop.
•The Windows key + Tab opens a list of currently running programs.
•The Windows key + Print Screen takes a screenshot and saves it in a Screenshots folder nested in your Pictures folder.
•To take a screenshot on a Windows 8 tablet, simultaneously press the Windows button and the volume-down button on the tablet chassis.
•The Windows key + Q opens a global search menu. Type what you’re looking for and where you would like to look.
•The Windows key + W opens a search in your system settings to quickly locate and change system properties.
•The Windows key + F opens a file and folder search.
•The Windows key + Pause opens the system properties page to show you a quick rundown of your specs.
•The Windows key + “,” (that’s the comma sign!) makes all current windows transparent, giving you a peek at the desktop as long as you hold down the Windows key.
•The Windows key + “.” (the period) snaps a window to the right or left side (toggling each time you press “.”).
•The Windows key + R prompts the Run command—useful for quickly launching apps and other routines with a command prompt.
•The Windows key + X opens the Quick Access Menu, exposing system functionality such as the Command Prompt, Disk Management, File Explorer, Run, and more. Alternatively, you can right-click on the bottom right corner of the screen to spawn the Quick Access Menu.
•The Windows key + I opens the settings menu, giving you quick access to the Control Panel, Personalization, and your Power button, among other features.
•The Windows key + O locks orientation on devices with an accelerometer.

Murphys Computer Laws

• Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
• Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
• If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
• If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
• Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
• The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
• Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
• Every non trivial program has at least one bug
Corollary 1 – A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Corollary 2 – At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.
• Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another ‘unrelated’ part is modified.
• The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
Corollary – A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.
• Lulled into Security Law
A ‘debugged’ program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.
• A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
• A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.
• Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
• Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
• Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.
• The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.
• The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.
• A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
• No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
• Any cool program always requires more memory than you have.
• When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.
• Disks are always full. It is futile to try to get more disk space. Data expands to fill any void.
• If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.
• If such a program has not crashed yet, it is waiting for a critical moment before it crashes.
• No matter how good of a deal you get on computer components, the price will always drop immediately after the purchase.
• All components become obsolete.
• The speed with which components become obsolete is directly proportional to the price of the component.
• Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
• The maintenance engineer will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
• It is axiomatic that any spares required will have just been discontinued and will be no longer in stock.
• Any VDU, from the cheapest to the most expensive, will protect a twenty cent fuse by blowing first.
• Any manufacturer making his warranties dependent upon the device being earthed will only supply power cabling with two wires.
• If a circuit requires n components, then there will be only n – 1 components in locally-held stocks.
• A failure in a device will never appear until it has passed final inspection.
• Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
• A program generator creates programs that are more buggy than the program generator.
• All Constants are Variables.
• Constants aren’t
• Variables won’t
• A part dropped from the workbench will roll to a degree of un-reachability proportional to its importance.
• In a transistor circuit protected by a fuse, the transistor will always blow to protect the fuse.
• The best way to see your boss is to access the Internet.
Or…
No matter how hard you work, the boss will only appear when you access the Internet.
• The hard drive on your computer will only crash when it contains vital information that has not been backed up.
• Computers don’t make errors-What they do they do on purpose.
• If Murphy’s laws are so true then how come I can log onto this site and submi…………
[connection reset – error message 928 ]
• Gumption’s Law
Any problem, no matter how complex, can be found by simple inspection.
Corollary: A nagging intruder with unsought advice will spot it immediately.
• Each computer code has five bugs, and tis number does not depend on how many bugs have been already found (it is conservative).
• Profanity is one language all computer users know.
• The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
• The most ominous words for those using computers: “Daddy, what does ‘Now formatting Drive C mean’?”
• When putting something into memory, always remember where you put it.
• Every non-trivial program contains at least one bug.
• Every non-trivial program can be simplified by at least one line of code.
The conclusion of the last two laws: Every non trivial program can be simplified to one line of code, and it will contain a bug.
• An expert is someone brought in at the last minute to share the blame.
• Debugging is at least twice as hard as writing the program in the first place.
So if your code is as clever as you can possibly make it, then by definition you’re not smart enough to debug it.
• Bahaman’s Law: for any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version appears.
• The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
• Patches – don’t.
• Most computer errors can be attributed to a similar problem – a screw loose behind the keyboard.
• Whenever you need a crucial file from the server, the network will be down.
• Whenever you need a crucial file from your hard drive, your computer will crash.
• E-mailed tasking will always come just before you log off.
• A quarantined virus – will be opened.
• A chain letter – will be sent. To global. A dozen times.
• The chance of a virus infecting your network is directly proportional to the amount of damage it does.
• The chances of getting off work on time is inversely proportional to how much e-mail the boss leaves for until end of the day.
• The faster you need a hardcopy, the more people will be using the only office printer.
• General Fault Errors are the “Check Engine” light of computers. If it can be fixed, chances are it’s not by you.
• A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
• The chances of a program doing what it’s supposed to do is inversely proportional to the number of lines of code used to write it.
• The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.
• No matter how fantastic your latest and greatest PC is, you will be able to buy it for half the price in 12 months.
• The longer it takes to download a program the more likely it won’t run.
• Failure is not an option, it’s included with the software.
• A program is good when it’s bug free – which is impossible.
• If you forget to save you’re work every 5 minutes, it will break down after you’ve been at it for an hour.
• It’s not a bug, it’s an undocumented feature.
• The amount of time taken to successfully complete a software project is in direct proportion to the amount of Marketing input.
Corollary: Marketing should not be located in the same city – much less on the same campus – as Engineering and/or Programming.
• The only thing worse than an end-user without a clue is an end-user who has a clue – usually the wrong one.
• According to most Tech Support people, the most common user error message (regardless of Operating System) is ID 10T.
End-users’ Corollary 1: most application failures occur between the hours of 2 and 4 am on a Sunday night – with a 6 am Monday deadline for the project.
End-users’ Corollary 2: On the graveyard shift, there’s no Tech Support to hear you scream!
• Bugs mysteriously appear when you say, “Watch this!”
corollary: If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what’s wrong the bug disappears.
• The probability of bugs appearing is directly proportional to the number and importance of people watching.
• An employee rank is in inverse proportion to his use of a computer, and in proportion to its performance.
• The only program that runs perfectly every time, is a virus
• If a project is completed on schedule, it wasn’t debugged properly.
• Non Crash Operating System aren’t.
• The worst bugs in your program will show up only during the final review.
• The people who say that computers are simple to use are the same people who tell you how to build a watch when you ask what time it is.
• Philington’s First Law
If it works, it’s production. If it doesn’t, it’s a test.
• Philington’s Second Law
Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
• Format C: fixes all
• Law of Computer Generated Aerodynamics
Computers suck.
• Law of Recycling
A computer that has been on the market for 6 weeks is still usable as a boat anchor.
• Law of Anti-security
The best way past a pesky security feature is a 13-year-old.
• Law of Acceleration
A computer that has surpassed its user’s frustration capacity (FC) will accelerate downwards at 9.8 meters per second squared.
• Computers let you waste time efficiently
• Make a system even a moron can use and a moron will use it.
• Make one that requires training or intelligence and only a moron will use it, but there will be more help desk calls.
• The likelihood of problems occurring is inversely proportional to the amount of time remaining before the deadline.
• You will always discover errors in your work after you have printed/submitted it.
The last two laws were sent by Niels Hageman
• 90% of a programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
• ‘Illegal Error’ messages only happen when you forget to save your work
• If you make the letters in your Word document bigger and then you print it out, you’ll have everything on the first page and only one line on the second.
• the OEM did not actually manufacture the part you need to replace
• By the time you learn your new computer you’ll need a new one.
• After a software is released, the first bug found will be by a person who normally does not use that portion of the program but was wondering why he can’t do something he normally would not do.
• When the Downloading Window says “99%complete”, there will be a fluctuation in the voltage and you’ll have to start all over again.
• Millions of people believe they are animals, but I have yet to meet one that believe in Windows’ stability. Even human stupidity has limits 😉
• The troubleshooting guide contains the answer to every problem except yours.
• Plugins Law
Whenever you install a group of plugins one by one just to find out which one can make your software work, you either haven’t gotten the right one, or have accidentally skipped the right one or it has become the last one installed.
• No matter what problem you have with your computer – Its Always Microsoft’s fault
Corollary: If its not their fault – Blame them anyway 🙂
• You will get disconnected from the Internet or experience a computer crash when you are downloading. If you don’t experience one within 80% completion, then it will happen at 99%. If you do manage to get the file, then it will turn out to be completely useless and/or invalid.
• You’ll always receive an e-mail from a web site that you never visit before.
• 75% of the bugs laws in this page can be applied to MS Windows (Any version).
• Auto Correct – isn’t
• Microsoft excel- doesn’t
• If you need to shutdown your PC ASAP, It will restart.
• The quickest way to shutdown a PC is to unplug it.
Corollary: ACPI shutdown (sometimes faster to get to than the plug) does not always work.
Corollary: ACPI shutdown will fail most frequently when you run the risk of being caught doing something.
• No matter how big a hard drive you buy, you’ll need to double it in a year.
• Complete computer breakdown will happen shortly after the maintenance person has left.
• A virus will be erased when the hard drive crashes, making it useless for antivirus program to fix it.
• The problem always exists between one keyboard and it’s respective chair.
(On submission problem was insomnia… zzzzzz)
• A program that compile on the first run has an error in the algorithm
• Edward V. Berard Law
Walking on water and developing software to specification are easy as long as both are frozen.
• The smaller the size of your email account, the more junk mail you will get
• The boss will always come to your workspace when you accidentally open an adult link
• The more pop-up screens you have, the more likely the boss will come by
• A computer is only as smart as the person using it
• If it ain’t broke, Overclock it!
• If you’re in a hurry, your computer will crash, a hard drive will become corrupted, or your files will be erased. Any way, you’re screwed if you have a deadline.
• Software Reliability: Investment in software reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors.
• Computer sadism: When the computer causes physical or mental damage to a person and can’t receive such a return favor (due to management rules).
• Computer masochism: When a computer takes all the abuse you think you can give it and continues working as it should.
• The sound of grinding metal or the sight of smoke coming from a case is a warning that you are trying to do too much with too little.
• The survivability of a system is directly proportional to the price of the cooling system applied to it and inversely proportional to the amount of use it sees.
• Antivirus systems only effectively work on a virus after given virus has passed its prime.
• The most frightening of viruses is the virus you do not know is already there.
• The amount of damage that a string of code can do is inversely proportional to the length of the string
• You only receive instant messaging, when working on a project that’s due instantly
• When designing a program to handle all possible dumb errors, nature creates a dumber user
• There is an inverse relationship between an organization’s hierarchy and its understanding of computers.
• Pioneers get arrows
• The smallest problems will immediately be brought to the attention of the CEO, but the big problems will be ignored until the affected system goes down.
• Leet speak is nothing more than some poor fool’s attempt to type really, really fast.
• Computers never work the way they are supposed to. Especially when nothing is wrong with them.
• A program will work the way you think is should only when you don’t care if it does.
• Software does not fail when the technician is in the room.
• As soon as you download a big file, your computer will shut down
• The longer the e-mail, the greater the chance it will not make it to its destination, for whatever reason
• If you were preventive enough to save a copy of anything, you will not need it. Therefore – Not saving a copy of anything is directly proportional to the value of the information lost and the amount of time invested in gathering and typing it
• Proof-read all e-mails three or four times before sending it. All errors are detected immediatly after being sent
• Murphy works for Microsoft. In fact, he is in charge of their QA
• the chance to lose data is inversely proportional to the number people in the room when updating a simple server program
• Good enough – isn’t, unless there is a deadline.
• Don’t take it personally, stupid